An Open Letter to God
Oh God, why does it hurt so much? Why is love painful? Why is it sweet at the same time? Why can't I understand myself, much less you? Why does all this seem so futile right now? I don't get a thing. I feel isolated within my own skull and confused out of it at the same time. Why is this happening to me? Why can't I understand? What to make of it? Oh God, why does this hurt?
Jesus, you suffered the cross and were forsaken by the Father so that when I would suffer, I would not be forsaken. I know I am not forsaken, but in all honesty, it still feels that way. I feel like I'm caught in space, suspended between heaven, earth, and hell itself. And the strangest thing is that I don't know why. Maybe it's because I'm still deciding where my heart is. Where are my affections set? What am I living for anymore? I'm still not sure... I am caught in a paradox. Not that this paradox is an altogether bad place to be, but it might not be the best place to spend forever. Oh God, how do I get out? When do I get out? When's the part where you tell me what life is all about and maybe even give me a few hints about how to live it? I feel like I slept through the important stuff that you taught that I needed to know. I'm so utterly confused, disillusioned and generally disappointed with how things go that I don't know what to do with myself. Give me answers, if you're still there.
AUTHOR'S DISCLAIMER: This post was written late at night after being told that we have found a house in a different province. I'll write something a little more coherent for y'all later.
Oh God, why does it hurt so much? Why is love painful? Why is it sweet at the same time? Why can't I understand myself, much less you? Why does all this seem so futile right now? I don't get a thing. I feel isolated within my own skull and confused out of it at the same time. Why is this happening to me? Why can't I understand? What to make of it? Oh God, why does this hurt?
Jesus, you suffered the cross and were forsaken by the Father so that when I would suffer, I would not be forsaken. I know I am not forsaken, but in all honesty, it still feels that way. I feel like I'm caught in space, suspended between heaven, earth, and hell itself. And the strangest thing is that I don't know why. Maybe it's because I'm still deciding where my heart is. Where are my affections set? What am I living for anymore? I'm still not sure... I am caught in a paradox. Not that this paradox is an altogether bad place to be, but it might not be the best place to spend forever. Oh God, how do I get out? When do I get out? When's the part where you tell me what life is all about and maybe even give me a few hints about how to live it? I feel like I slept through the important stuff that you taught that I needed to know. I'm so utterly confused, disillusioned and generally disappointed with how things go that I don't know what to do with myself. Give me answers, if you're still there.
AUTHOR'S DISCLAIMER: This post was written late at night after being told that we have found a house in a different province. I'll write something a little more coherent for y'all later.
posted by Brahm at
8:19 PM
4 Comments:
UMMM UMMMM UMMMM! * tries to think hard of something to say while panicking* ...... UMMM!...*panicks more, feeling slightly sick*... UMMMMMM! UMMMMM! *decides that its probably best to go breath into a paper bag* ok yeah i need an update, please. in the mean time hang in there.
By
Iara, At
9:59 AM
btw its sunday and its like 1 pm and i am home
By
Iara, At
9:59 AM
no, honestly, i'm okay.... well, more okay than i was when i wrote that post. i'll keep everyone updated.
By
Brahm, At
12:32 PM
and i won't forget about you, my friends. it's kinda impossible i think. haha, every time someone says "cricket" i'm going to die laughing. plus my arm is still scarred from that incident with the juice box :-p. that's a wonderful reminder haha.
By
Brahm, At
9:16 PM
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