a beach in Winnipeg.

Rantings of a Lunatic

I've never understood those people who just swear into cyberspace hoping to make their problems disappear. I've never understood the logic behind this practice. However, I'm sure it feels really awesome to throw your feelings onto the computer for the readers. So I'm giving it a go.

I am yearning for something more in life. Waterloo, although a wonderful place, is slowly starving me of adventure or novelty. It's a great place and everything, but I know it by heart. That's why it's so hard to go. This place has been my home for a good ten years. But because of this, it is nearly overfamiliar. I know every place that I can go to hang out. I know all the trails. I've walked every path, peed on every bush. (sorry, i couldn't help that one.) But the point is, I know this place far too well. I need something new.

Youth will soon be over. So many people are moving on next year. Most of the guys I went through youth with will be gone. I will be gone. Many people are leaving/have left the church. I am having a hard time holding on to the core that we as a church hold on to and revolve around. It is so easy to get caught up the the weekly and yearly cycle that we forget that it is all about living every day passionately for Christ. I wonder if that is why so many Christians end up depressed and seemingly disillusioned; we forget that it is not about us, but all about Jesus, and about following Him in every circumstance. But it is hard. I guess we all experience spiritual growing pains as we come into maturity. We are all put to the test of where our hearts are set. Do we live for ourselves and for our own comfort, or do we live for God's Kingdom, and for the best which is yet to come? Do we really believe that there is more than this life? Do I?

The countdown until the big move is at less than a month. I am going to miss everyone here terribly. There is one person here in particular who I have a hard time going a few days without seeing, much less than months on end. Yes, it will be good to get somewhere new. However, it will be incredibly difficult to say goodbye. It will be painful. I think that packing will be the hardest part. My girlfriend said she'll help me pack my stuff. It will an immense comfort to have her company while I do this task.

In any case, if I write for much longer I will lose all hints of coherence. I will write more later.